Open-mindedness: the quality of being willing to consider ideas and opinions that are new or different from your own.
In an ideal world, one would hope to have an infinite open mind which would allow them to take any experience as a learning opportunity to constantly grow. However, the world is not ideal and none of us are perfect so how do we practice and strive to maintain as open of a mind as possible? I sure as hell don’t know - but I am going to talk about it :D
As Daia and I continue through our travel, we are realizing how important this mindset is to travel. No other country has put this into better perspective than South Korea.
How does one bring this approach to travel? Throughout it all, you are undoubtedly tested. Things may go wrong, or things that you take for granted may not be available at all.
Exhibit A: Navigating through Seoul airport to try to catch a bus to our Airbnb: not the funnest. Little to no signs in English coupled with the fact that you need a special preloaded card (cash only) - oh and you need to download a special app (Equivalent to google maps but only in Korean) in order to see when the next bus leaves. Keep an open mind.
We finally arrive at what we think is our bus only to be greeted by arguably one of the grumpiest bus drivers who simply yelled at us to just get on the bus. Keep an open mind.
When you’re tired and hungry things can easily get from inconvenient to bad real quick. As we promote open-mindedness throughout our life as the key to long life learning and understanding, the same mentality needs to be adapted to traveling. This is very challenging in practice. Why? Because as humans we tend to gravitate to what we believe is the best way to do something based on our experience and compare everything else to that. Being able to step away almost as a complete observer when encountering new experiences and combat the thoughts of comparison is a very powerful skill. I applaud and respect those who can pull it off so seamlessly - very few can. The truth is different cultural norms are such a beautiful part of traveling. Whether it’s seeing it through religion, food, or social interaction - these, “oh wow that’s different” moment often paints the picture of what we think about that country. These moments - when positive - open an a warm embrace between you and that culture. To me, it’s the ultimate nirvana of traveling and the peak of connectedness. However, when negative, it can become a combative or abrasive experience.
So why does this upset us? After all, we are simply guests in the country were visiting. We are choosing to be here and conform to those standards. We don’t have to reside there and are merely guests in one’s home. This is similar to how you would take your shoes off in someone’s else’s house even though you may not in yours. It is about respect, not agreement or disagreement on how to do things.
That’s the philosophical bit. Now the experience that inspired this post:
From the angry bus driver from the airport to different interactions throughout our first couple days in Seoul and so on - people felt cold. There is an impression of annoyance to anything and everything you’re doing or saying. In some instances there were bars (like this hole in the wall) where foreigners were explicitly unwelcome.
I felt I was getting starved the true experience I imagined. I wanted the spontaneous interaction with a local. I wanted to share a drink or a laugh or something! I wanted to connect. Frustration becomes a domino effect. It feels at times as if you’re putting on limited edition,”This sucks” glasses and you are seeing everything through the eyes of negativity. I was wrong. Very wrong. I was setting ourselves up for failure. I was trying to solve a problem where there wasn’t any.
So what do I do?
I tried the Adrian special - Humor. Even with the translator app - nothing ended up landing, so naturally my ego was shot. Daia made sure to rub this in my face and make sure I was aware at how unfunny I was. Interaction after interaction I had a sour taste in my mouth - even after picking up our bikes the shop owner was very much a get your bike and get on your way kind of guy. Oh, did I mention that after all these interactions on the last night in Seoul before our multi day bike adventure I forgot our 500$ camera at an Arcade game? This also didn’t add to the good vibes.
So as we embarked on our 6 day bike ride, Daia and I decided to do a mini challenge. Practice saying “Hello” and “Thank you” in South Korean and see who can get the most responses back. With this, we noticed how important slow nodding (showing respect) is and the type of responses we got when combining nodding and hello.
With the positive endorphins of exercise and tranquility of the country side we cooled down a bit. People started smiling. Yes!! A win! On Day 2 of our trip a guy in a truck stops on a bridge to give us hydration packs and wish us luck on our ride - which was extremely nice. Slowly I felt like the hard shell was coming off. Everywhere I looked there was acts of kindness and the same negative domino effect turned into a beautiful embrace. We got a flat and an old man stopped to help without speaking a lick of English. Or the lady that treated me like her grandson and made sure I finished everything and gave me extra of my favorite side. The list goes on. The South Korean were kind to us. The cherry on top was the last night out in Busan. So many spontaneous interactions filled my heart - including having a beer with an old man and socializing with some locals over dinner. The language was definitely a barrier but laughs and gestures speak a thousand words. We felt like we really connected.
But there is one last wow moment. I mentioned I lost my camera. We returned to Seoul with very positive view on our experience in Korea and went back to the arcade store - with minuscule expectations - to see if my camera was still there. I told Daia we are wasting our time… come to find out that a customer returned it and the Arcade shop kept it for the last 6 days we were out of town. I was so thankful I wanted to give the guy the biggest hug. Most cultural norms (not to throw Romanians or even some places in America under the bus) would have totally not let that happen. Brand new camera left anywhere would easily find its way to a new owner. This admittedly forced even more reflection. Slow down and be open, things aren’t always the way they seem at first.
South Korea had a tough shell at first but we cracked it and what was inside was so much kindness and love. We were constantly reminded that attitude and mentality play an important role in what you experience. You can practice having an open mind or you can choose to focus on the negative. We all have the choice and the control. Talk soon.
Thank you South Korea!
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